I wrote about sociopathic and narcissistic mirroring here.
I am familiar with this as my former "best" friend used mirroring to gain my trust and make me feel like we were closer than we were and had more in common than we did. Mirroring is a typical sociopath manipulation technique.
The mirroring started slowly and lasted many, many years. I can see it now in hindsight, but it is not apparent when going through it. Having someone close to you use and abuse you this way leads to severe betrayal trauma. I will write more about this in future articles.
Here is how the mirroring started and how it evolved over the years.
Mirroring examples in my friendship
We connected over our marriages and babies in the early days of our friendship. My friend often asked for advice about her baby since I had my baby a few months ahead of her. Her asking for advice did not raise any red flags and seemed perfectly normal.
But the dynamic of her asking me for advice or recommendations would continue for our entire friendship. I realized it was not because she admired me so much or cared about my opinion. It was to mirror me and make me feel flattered.
Starting in those early days with baby advice and advice on baby gear, it evolved into clothes, makeup, and hair advice.
Over 5-7 years, my friend adopted a hairstyle and hair color similar to mine.
She bought similar clothes as me. She bought some items identical to mine, such as the same shoes, swimsuits, sunglasses, and skin care products, and even in the last year before our friendship blew up - the same perfume as me.
I still did not notice this as something malicious. After all, we were best friends and always shared these things, right?
We also had an incredible amount of things in common from our past. Our teen years seemed very similar to what we were into as teens, our parents' jobs, and the music and boy bands we loved.
Our taste in music was the same. When I started a new exercise routine, my friend jumped on it and took up the same one.
When I took up running, she also took up running. She sought my advice on running shoes and clothes. And then she had to be better than me and beat me, although I was not competing.
If I bought something for my children, she usually bought the same item or something similar for hers.
Yet still, none of this raised alarms because I thought she was my friend.
But she was not. She was a sociopath and a user. She entered my life and wreaked havoc on my family and friends.
The mirroring was to gain my trust and make me feel like we had so much in common and were similar.
I realize now that so much of this was fake. The natural person under the mask was none of these things. Who knows even what was real? She did not have her own identity or thoughts.
Or if she did, she did not show them to me. She showed me a curated chameleon version of herself to gain my trust. And, once she had my confidence, she used it and abused it big time.
More of my story will come out over time on this site. But I will leave it with this for now.
Narcissistic and sociopathic mirroring are manipulation tactics to gain your trust.
Sociopathic mirroring is a manipulative tactic used by individuals with sociopathic tendencies to build rapport with their targets by imitating their behavior, interests, or attitudes.
It is a form of emotional manipulation intended to create a false sense of intimacy and trust, allowing the sociopath to gain control and influence over their target.
Examples of sociopathic mirroring may include
- Adopting the same interests as the target: A sociopath may pretend to share the same interests as their target to gain their trust and create a bond. For example, if the target is a fan of a particular sports team, the sociopath may also claim to be a fan.
- Mirroring body language and speech patterns: A sociopath may imitate their target's body language and speech patterns to create a sense of familiarity and trust. For example, if the target speaks slowly and uses hand gestures, the sociopath may adopt a similar communication style.
- Playing the victim: A sociopath may mimic the target's behavior of playing the victim to elicit sympathy and gain trust. They may pretend to have experienced similar hardships or injustices, creating a sense of shared experience and empathy.
- Flattery and compliments: A sociopath may use them to mirror the target's positive self-image and gain their trust. They may praise the target's achievements, intelligence, or appearance to create a positive association and make the target feel valued.
Conclusion
It is important to note that sociopathic mirroring is a form of manipulation and deception that can harm the target's well-being. If you suspect that someone may be using sociopathic mirroring to manipulate you, seeking support from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional is essential.